A friend asked me about some posts I had found that I posted on Facebook regarding advice from parents to their children. I did not write those pieces of advice, and may not agree with each of them, but it’s a great, loving collection of thoughts from a parent to a child. I was asked to put it onto a blog, and since I’m always aiming to please, Voila! And to put my own little TOB spin on it, I’ve bolded the items I really love….if an item is not bolded, it does NOT mean I don’t love it…but I just bolded the ones that I could envision saying to my kids, or Kevin saying to them…
20 Things a Mom should tell her son:
1. Play a sport. It will teach you how to win honorably, lose gracefully, respect authority, work with others, manage your time
and stay out of trouble. And maybe even throw or catch.
2. You will set the tone for the sexual relationship, so don’t take something away from her that you can’t give back.
3. Use careful aim when you pee. Somebody’s got to clean that up, you know.
4. Save money when you’re young because you’re going to need it someday.
5. Allow me to introduce you to the dishwasher, oven, washing machine, iron, vacuum, mop and broom.Now please go use them.
6. Pray and be a spiritual leader.
7. Don’t ever be a bully and don’t ever start a fight, but if some idiot clocks you, please defend yourself.
8. Your knowledge and education is something that nobody can take away from you.
9. Treat Women Kindly. Forever is a long time to live alone and it’s even longer to live with somebody who hates your guts.
10. Take pride in your appearance.
11. Be strong and tender at the same time.
12. A woman can do everything that you can do. This includes her having a successful career and you changing diapers at 3 A.M.
Mutual respect is the key to a good relationship.
13. “Yes ma’am” and “yes sir” still go a long way.
14. The reason that they’re called “private parts” is because they’re “private”. Please do not scratch them in public. 
15. Peer pressure is a scary thing. Be a good leader and others will follow.
16. Bringing her flowers for no reason is always a good idea.
17. It is better to be kind than to be right.
18. A sense of humor goes a long way in the healing process.
19. Please choose your spouse wisely. My daughter-in-law will be the gatekeeper for me spending time with you and my grandchildren.
20. Remember to call your mother because I might be missing you.
20 Things a Father should tell his daughter
1) Pay attention to the way a man loves his mother. That is the way he will love you.
2) You can do anything a man can do, including organic chemistry, unclogging toilets and assembling IKEA furniture.
3) Older women wear makeup so THEY can look like YOU. Less is more. A lot less is a lot more.
4) People will judge you by the way you look. It isn’t fair, but it’s the way the world works. Keep that in mind as you pick your outfit in the morning.
5) Never let anyone do your thinking for you. There are far too many people with far too much invested in you believing what they believe.
6) Liberal arts grow your mind. Science and business keep you fed. You will need both.
7) Nothing is more attractive than intelligence.
8) Learn to drive a stick-shift…I still cannot drive a stick shirt…Kevin tried to teach me to drive his Maserati in the Pentagon parking lot in 1990, as he said, “the world’s largest parking lot”…and I could not master it.
9) Get comfortable with power tools. My friend Susan loves power tools…Real power tools.
10) You don’t have to enjoy them, but have a working knowledge of the rules for football and baseball. Go Bears!
11) Know the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek, and they key players in both.
12) You don’t have to *DO* anything for someone to love you. The right person will cross a desert just for the chance to sit next to you at lunch.
13) Peer pressure is all about insecurity. Be confident in who you are and you’ll never have to “fit in”. People will come to you.
14) The fastest way to strain a relationship with a man is to bring up old drama. We can’t remember to hang up the bath towel. What makes you think we remember that stupid thing we did 6 months ago?
15) If a man genuinely loves you, he will let you set the boundaries. Don’t let anyone take something from you they can’t give back. You set the tone for the sexual relationship.
16) Feminie hygiene products — Where our daughters are concerned, we would be very happy sticking our fingers in our ears and saying “lalalalalalalala”. Please respect our need to pretend they, and the reason for them, do not exist. The same goes for lacy underthings.
17) You were flawless the day you were born. If you must go get that first tattoo, please consider inviting your daddy to come and get his first tattoo with you. DO NOT EVER GET A TATTOO!!!!!
18) You are perfect the way you roll out of bed. Let’s be clear: all that crap you do to “get out the door” is for everyone else’s benefit.
19) Though he may be smiling on the outside, when you leave for college your father is falling apart on the inside. Don’t forget to call him that first night to tell him you love him.
20) Compare every single boy you ever meet to your daddy. Nobody will love you like he does.
20 Things a Mom should tell her Daughter
1. Smart is the new cool. Never be ashamed of being smart or nerdy, having freckles or glasses, or loving science and math. Smart never goes out of style, it stays with you as you grow, and it will lead you down the most successful paths.
2. No matter how many times you hear it, “Diamonds are NOT a girl’s best friend.” Friends are invaluable. They are trusting and loyal. They stick with you through good times and bad, happy or sad. Some will come and go, but your true friends will be with you always.
3. Go for it, get dirty! It’s good for you. Besides the fact that getting dirty actually does help support your immunity, it’s also a great way to express creativity! Sculpt, draw, and stomp. Better yet, go “classic” and make some mud pies.
4. Beat the boys at their own games. Football, baseball, hockey or golf, never let anyone tell you that you can’t do something because you’re a girl. So go ahead, build the tallest tower of legos, kick butt on Xbox, and bust out your light saber.
5. Be spiritual. Find the desire to understand the universe and your place in it. Take the time to notice the earth and all of its beauty. Give thanks to God.
6. A strong hand shake leaves a lasting impression. It represents self-confidence and ambition. A strong hand shake and eye contact exemplifies a mutual respect for one another and is a sign that you are friendly, trustworthy, and honest.
7. Read something every single day. From the Cat in the Hat and Dr. Seuss to Junie B Jones, reading is exercise for your brain. It expands knowledge and vocabulary- and lets your imagination run wild.
8. When it comes to wearing make-up, there’s a general rule of thumb that applies – LESS is MORE.
9. When it comes to fashion, shorter does not always equal better. Fashion trends come and go and not all of it is fabulous. Half tops and mini skirts are great for an 85 degree day at the beach or if you’re a Miami Dolphins cheerleader, but not for your high school yearbook photo. I’ve been forced into stating the Dolphins are my #2 NFL team.
10. Please, please, please do not allow yourself to become someone else’s property. Why this is trendy, I will never figure out. If you want to make a statement about yourself on clothing, at least let it describe an aspect of who YOU are.
11. Speaking of trends, I hope that by the time you are allowed to date, guys don’t wear their pants hanging half way down their ass like they do now. I really feel like this has been pretty popular for quite some time and I am praying that it finally goes away by 2022. Also, I will flip my lid if you become this guy’s property! (see #13)
12. Being an angel should not and does not mean wearing only your bra, underwear, and a set of wings for everyone to see.
13. Don’t let pop culture define you. I don’t know why, but today we let pop culture manipulate our youth and it’s killing them emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually. From the early on fascination with princesses, to the ‘need’ for a boyfriend and big boobs, popularity, teen moms, and all the other garbage being thrown in their face – be confident going against the grain.
14. Accept yourself for who you are. You’re one-of-a-kind and that’s what makes you beautiful. Tall, short, big, small, blonde, brunette, redhead, white, brown, blue, pink, yellow – we are all DIFFERENT.
15. Mainstream your health. It’s life’s greatest asset. A positive approach to health encompasses physical, mental, social, emotional, and spiritual well being. Healthy lifestyle choices in your youth will help lay a strong foundation for continued wellness throughout your adult life. Diet, exercise, stress management, chiropractic, self motivation, positiveness, and meditation, as well as a number of other approaches are guaranteed to make a huge impact on your quality of life, health, and happiness.
16. Have confidence in yourself. A positive self-image assures power, strength, ability, and value. It will enable you to conquer your goals and allow you to fearlessly pursue your biggest dreams.
17. Love with all your heart. For where there is love there is life. Love is universal and felt by all living things. So strong is the feeling of love that it is said it makes the world go round.
18. Never be afraid to laugh at yourself. Laughter is humbling. It inspires and motivates.
19. Wherever you are in life, you can come home. I will be here – always.
20. Enjoy the innocence of your childhood. In a world full of superficial values, peer pressure, and bullying, as well as a pop culture that pushes materialism and consumerism – you are being leapfrogged through your childhood. There is a constant pressure for you to grow up way too fast.
20 Things a Father should tell his son
1) Learn to dance with a partner. Nothing is classier than a man who can walk his partner onto the dance floor with confidence. Sadly, Kevin cannot dance…but I’m lucky to have enough male friends who fit that bill.
2) The only time it is appropriate to use your fists is to defend yourself from someone else using theirs on you.
3) Liberal arts grow your mind. Science and business keep you fed. You will need both.
4) That woman in that picture, or in that movie, or on that stage is someone’s sister/daughter. Treat her the way you would hope someone else would treat your sister/daughter if she was unfortunate enough to find herself in the same position.
5) Learn to filter. Before you say anything, think about how the words you plan to use will sound in the ears of the person you are speaking to.
6) Learn to disagree with someone without taking personal offense – if for no reason other than the fact that you can’t expect something from someone that you aren’t able to deliver yourself.
7) Never let anyone do your thinking for you. There are far too many people with far too much invested in you believing what they believe.
8) Peer pressure is all about insecurity. Be confident in who you are and you won’t have to “fit in”. People will come to you.
9) Never relax when your wife is doing chores. Though she may say it’s “OK”, you never want to be “that guy”.
10) Hold open the door, pull out the chair and give her your coat. Chivalry is not sexism.
11) Respect the woman you are with. No matter how badly you want to, don’t make your move until she tells you that it’s OK. Let her set the tone for the sexual relationship.
12) A real man knows crying is OK, but doesn’t over-do it.
13) There is no football game more important than a Sunday date with your wife. A friend told me he gave up watching the Heat v Bulls game to have a “date night” with his wife…I don’t think Kevin would ever expect me to miss a Bears playoff game, since that’s where I’d rather be as opposed to being on a date with him! Go Bears!
14) Never lose sight of the fact that no matter how much you believe, no matter how convinced you may be that you are right — you might just be completely wrong.
15) Learn early to tie a tie.
16) Know your way around power tools.
17) You don’t have to like their music, but be able to identify Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin when you hear them. Again, classy. Fly me to the Moon…total classic!
18) People will judge you by how you look. It isn’t fair, but that’s the way the world works. Keep that in mind when you’re picking out your clothes in the morning.
19) Learn empathy. In all situations be able to put yourself in the position of the person you’re interacting with.
20) When picking a wife, you can never do better than your mother.
This is incredibly true…should you ever want to find out something about someone, Stalk their Pinterest page…so much more interesting than Facebook…Of course, I’m not speaking of mine, because you’ll only find fashion, home decor, someecards (:) ) and food I want to make for Meredith and Paddy…which I never seem to make, but I do have the best intentions, and I do have an entire summer ahead of me!
Loving life with Mer Mer home for the summer…another crowded house this weekend at the O’Brien’s with everyone home. Pray for me.
This picture was from 2007.
Have a great weekend!
xoxo,
T.
