The Good Wife’s Guide :)

4 Dec

your stupid illness

The good wife’s guide, as “published” by Good Housekeeping magazine in 1955…And I don’t believe this article is talking about the CBS hit show, either.  This may indeed be a “hoax”, but nonetheless, it’s always good to start the day with a good…make that a Great laugh!

This blog is in honor of all the Men, who have been patiently waiting for the MANic Monday blog, which never came yesterday but hopefully they can still enjoy this on a Terry Tuesday!

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Just in case your eyes can’t read the above post (like mine), here it is in an easier to read format, with my comments in italics:

  • Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.  I am not a fan of cooking, but do so because Patrick likes to eat and happily, Kevin is the only man I know who does NOT like the smell of a home-cooked meal.  And for the record, most women are hungry when we get “home” or stop working…that’s what Chardonnay is for…makes you forget to eat!
  • Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.  I’m enjoying the notion of putting a lovely ribbon in my hair.  The only thing “fresh” would be my mouth.  Just leave it at that.
  • Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.  I’m quite lucky I’m the master of  a “guy/or duck walks into a bar” jokes…
  • Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dust cloth over the tables.  Actually I should be doing this daily, regardless of whether or not Prince Charming is coming home.
  • During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.  Yes, my home, indeed, is a haven of rest and order…For Pete’s Sakes…For Kevin’s Sakes…Now I feel obligated to clean and make it a haven of order.  Scheesh!
  • Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.  I’m all about encouraging the children to be quiet, but Murphy is another story!  And the noise of a washer, dryer or vacuum would mean I’m actually doing those, so happy to make it quiet, because I like it quiet as well!
  • Be happy to see him.  I think they’ve finally crossed the line here! 🙂
  • Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.  The warm smile is coming from the chardonnay!
  • Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first – remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.  Best not to talk to him about the ludicrous article you found in Good Housekeeping!
  • Don’t greet him with complaints and problems.  What complaints and problems?  Cooking and Cleaning all day in a dress and pearls…what’s to complain about?  I love living in Stepford.
  • Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.  Or what he will go through when he stays out all night, and finds out you and the kids have left.  But that’s just me.
  • Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lay him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.  This has me speechless, quite frankly, and nothing to add.
  • Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.  A comfy pillow and a foot rub is all I can think of now.
  • Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.  “You have no right to question me” is what I will say to the detectives when they question me as to the disappearance of my dear, loving husband.
  • A good wife always knows her place.  My place is happily back in 2012!

at11

Many thanks to Nancy and Rochelle for coming up with ideas in which I can find an ugly sweater for the Ugly Sweater party I’m going to this weekend.  Goodwill and Carson’s are 2 great options.  Goodwill for a pre-owned version, and Carson’s for some lovely sweaters by Alfred Dunner.  This little number looks to also be quite “slimming”.  What luck, I can eat, drink, and be Terry!

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Upcoming blogs:  4th edition of my Favorite Things; Stocking Stuffer Ideas; and Regifting.

Have a happy day! 🙂

xoxo,

T.

this may be the wine tucking

nothing tastes as good

always keep a bottle of wine

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2 Responses to “The Good Wife’s Guide :)”

  1. Megan R December 4, 2012 at 10:20 am #

    Wow, I’d better hope that Joe never gets a hold of this article!!!

  2. LAP December 4, 2012 at 8:32 pm #

    Oh man, an oldie but a goodie especially with Terry on Tuesday’s Talking TIps!! Thanks for the literal LOL . . .

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