Apparently I am not the only person who has written that Jay Cutler Needs a life coach. It would appear that Rick Telander, columnist for the Chicago Sun Times and I feel the same way…and according to Mr. Telander, he feels Mr. Cutler may have already consulted with one! Here is an excerpt from Mr. Telander’s column:
After watching the Bears-Bills preseason game I am left with the impression that Jay Cutler must have found a life coach in Beverly Hills and employed him for a makeover.
The Bears quarterback is lean, his double chin is only 1 1/4 chins, and most of all, he seems to have developed personal skills.He patted teammates on the back. He talked to somebody up in the press box on his head set. He made small chatter with Brian Urlacher.
He acted as if he cared . Maybe he doesn’t, and it’s all an act. But that unfortunate image of him as blase malingerer in the NFC title game last winter is one that he needs to shatter to pieces.Maybe a life coach explained that to him. Or maybe life itself is doing the trick. Whatever, Cutler’s mental and physical fitness are so important to the Bears’ future that it was comforting to see this small step. Even if the sacks have started again.
Of course I’m not insinuating that Mr. Cutler took my advice and hired a life coach, but perhaps getting sacked so many times has knocked some sense into his head. And I’m not saying that Mr. Telander read my blog, then further elaborated on it, however I’m also not dismissing that fact. “Jay Cutler needs a life coach” remains the most read post on my blog…and shocking as it may seem, it is beating “What a girl packs for college”, “Who’s your Paddy”, as well as “How to Not look old”.
As mentioned in previous blogs (twice), I am not saying my life is perfect, so I may not be qualified, per se, to be Mr. Cutler’s Life Coach…but, what the heck, I’m going to take a stab at it.
What Jay Cutler Should Consider Changing in his Life: (in My Humble Opinion)
1. Smile. For Pete’s Sakes, you have a $49M contract, and you can’t smile? You are a quarterback for the Chicago Bears, and you can’t smile? You get to play in the best sport’s city in the world, and you can’t smile? Do you know how hard I had to peruse Google searching for a picture of you smiling? Show off what you bought and which Pam Oliver brought to everyone’s attention when she gushed over your new teeth. “Fox’s Oliver, ending her post game interview with Bears quarterback Jay Cutler ”Pretty teeth, by the way.” Whether athletes like it or not, they are role models when it comes to flossing .”
2. Wear a suit for your post game interviews. That plaid lumberjack shirt you wore last year was an embarrassment. You make a decent living, buy a nice suit. Oh, and buy one that fits. And feather in some Blue and Orange ties. Wear a Dark Navy Suit, white shirt, Orange Tie. That would be a nice touch. I believe when Jay was televised wearing this shirt, the announcer even commented, “based on his choice of shirt, perhaps he didn’t realize he’d be on tv?” Really bad shirt. Wear a suit.
3. Give back to the community. Work with the underprivileged…Attend Charity Events. Get involved in the community where you work. It will humble you to see how very fortunate you are, and make you feel good about yourself, and what you can do to help others. You are a role model, whether you like it or not…being a role model to children is a privilege, act like it.
4. Go to a Chicago Hot Spot after every home game - May I suggest Gibson’s (or Shaw’s, as ”there’s lots” going on there, or Joe’s Stone Crab)…and bring your Offensive Line, and buy them a Huge Steak and lots of Stella Artois (or Crab Legs if you go to Shaw’s). With a $49M contract you can splurge and buy everyone Chimay Ale ($141.99/case at Binny’s,and you can afford it). Whether you win or lose, take your Offensive Line out to dinner, or a post-game snack. Hob nob with the patrons in the restaurant. Give autographs (only when asked, as offering them when someone doesn’t ask, could be considered poor form). Trust me, you’ll end up with your own little groupies, and they’ll all start to buy your Jersey. Wouldn’t it be nice to see Cutler jersey’s outnumber Urlacher jerseys? Send your linemen home in a limo, so they don’t get pulled over for a DUI…that would undo all the good you are doing if they drove under the influence. Show them you care, so they Block for you. Jim McMahon was famous for buying his OL Rolex watches…The Punky QB had a good plan. The punky QB won a Superbowl.
5. Don’t date a Hollywood “Reality/Starlet“. Puhlease. Date a hometown Chicago Gal. Midwest girls are the best in the land. Raised with high morals and standards. Your mother will be pleased. A lot of people will be pleased.
6. Polish up on some “duck wants into a bar” jokes. Take it from me, People Love them!
7. Buy a Chicago home…a nice one. ( I believe he has been renting a home in Lake Forest). You have a $49M contract, buy a home. Show us you are here to stay.
8. Act like you care, and Chicago will care about you. The City wants to love you!
9. Polish up on your interviewing techniques…learn the gift of banter and fodder. When you make a mistake, own up to it…”I had a horrible game…if I were you, I’d also be grilling me…but I’m gonna take it. Bring it on. We are going to work even harder this week”. Indicate how lucky you are to play in Chicago, you Love the Bears, you Love the city, and you Love the game. If you say it enough, people may actually believe you.
10. Butkus, Sayers, Payton, Singletary, Harris (Al made me say this…actually he didn’t, I just adore him and his family)…Chicago Bears Legends. Not only did they have superb athletic ability, they played with Heart, they played with Soul and are Solid Great Men (of course phenomenal talent as well). You still see people sporting their jerseys out and about, and not just at Bears games. Don’t you want to be amongst this illustrious group of Bear’s players? You have the talent to be a Hall of Famer. Don’t you want to join Brian Urlacher in the Next Generation of Bears Legends? You have the talent. Now you just need the heart. I can see it now…Jay Cutler…Hall of Fame class 2025.
I would like the record to reflect that I happen to be a huge fan of Jay Cutler’s. I just am getting sick and tired of explaining why I am, so if he would take these suggestions, it would make my life easier…as well as his. I like Jay Cutler, and hope he’s here to stay!
Are you ready for some football? I am! Bring on the Falcons!